The Lurkers Support Me In Email – Jo Walton
You posters just don’t understand me But soon you will reap what you sow.
Arugula – Larry Correia
The sound of postings on the net good fans, lock down your comment sections. Beware they seek the deadly set that spawns objections and rejections.
They all fight for silenced voices, By crowding out all other choices. Sad puppies aren’t much fun.
First We Take Their Rockets – Owl Mirror
First we take their rockets, then we bite their shins
It was a dark and stormy mutt – Peace Is My Middle Name
the rage fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of whinge which swept up the streets
The Last Castle – Bruce Baugh
Most were buried under sliding rubble, but a few gained the ridge to blog, hack, tweet, until they themselves were shot, crushed by the half-alive power-wagons, hacked or stabbed.
Not Entirely H.G. Wells, Either – Rick Moen
No one would have believed in the first years of the twenty-first century that the SFF world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences stranger than fen’s and yet as demented as his own;
Puppies dumped a dreckload down, the packet’s just arrived. Full of Puppy message fic for me.
Do You Wanna Take the Hugos – Jim C. Hines
I think this backlash is long overdue. We should start talking to Vox Day and Gamergate.
There is a ‘ward in Sasquaaaan – RedWombat
It’s been the ruin of many a poor CHORF And God, I know I’m one.
Something there is that doesn’t love cabals – Abi Sutherland
My favorite books will not unpublish theirs Nor Making Light crush Bane’s Bar, I tell them. They only say, ‘It’s about ethics in Hugo voting.’
Adorable! – Rebekah Golden
Puppies All the Way Down – Cat
Perhaps I am biased, but everyone notes– We all have more interest, I bet In stories that haven’t been shoved down our throats In order to make us upset
Shut Em Down – Vox Day
He book-reviewed, he S.J.W’d Vile minions viewed his anti-Puppy feud
I was down to Sasquan convention – SocialInjusticeWorrier
I want six crap writers to be my pallbearers Three bad editors to sing a song Stick Teddy Beale on my hearse wagon Raise hell as I stroll along
Beal-woof – ULTRAGOTHA
Hwaet! The Great-Danes’ want glory through dubious achievements The god-voice former infamy we have heard of,
The Love Song of J Alfred Puppyfrock – LunarG
We have lingered in the Con Suites of the past Reading ancient Hugo yarns of great renown Till message fiction bores us, and we drown.
To read or not to read – Steven Schwartz
For who would bear the whips and scorns of Wright, the Castalian’s wrong, the Kr*tman’s contumely, the pangs of unedited tweets, or Lou’s entree,
The puppy cannot hear the puppeteer
There are only four things certain – Stilicho #0066
As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man There are only four things certain since Social Justice began. That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire, And the burnt SJW’s finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;
My Favorite Things – Will Reichard
Books with pure motives and clear genre markers Messagey language and carnival barkers
My Favorite Things (Reprise) – Tuomas Vaino
Have you ever offered crisp refutation, To those allergic to logical causation,
The Erin Hypothesis – Cat
Every slate’s another datum, every action breeds response Till a Puppy iteration finally gets him what he wants.
Inflict Us – May Tree
Out of the noms that cover me Rabid or sad, from troll to troll,
That’s a Puppy – CPaca
When their words make you queasy, And their arguments are sleazy,
Puppymandias – Kyra
Vote for my works, ye Mighty, and despair!
I wanna Hugo – Owlmirror
Bold women are all skunks Men shouldn’t play with their junk Then liberals had to come and all have their say Sheriff S. J.
Heinlein Days – Tintinaus
Nowadays it’s just to hard The editors are all libtards Intent upon their little socialst dreams
The Parliament of Cheese and Curds – Camestros Felapton
The artisanal cheese shrugged indifferently – a shrug which was distinctly different from the shrug he used when he was not trying to show indifference.
Apres Hugo – Will Reichard
That’s why when you get back to the toasty comfort of your own ideological hearth, you should reach for Hubik.
But childhood ended today for them. They can no more Walk Away from Omelas than they can Walk Away from the Vision of Torment – the Child we brutalize in a Closet for the good and joy of our community.
If You Were an Award, My Love – Juan Tabo & S. Harris
If you were a Hugo®, then I would become Taller, Stronger John Scalzi so that I could spend all my time with you.
If You Were a Puppy, My Sweet – Glenn Hauman & David Mack
You’d bound from place to place, unburdened by any thought of consequences, full of energy and bereft of conscience.
A Warning from the Future – Camestros Felapton
“The horror of Spokane they called it. The rule changes…they went wrong…a memetic virus was introduced…it spread through blog posts…the world became consumed by puppy-slates”
Timothy the Talking Cat and the Libelous Comment – Camestros Felapton
Timothy was ever mindful of the imminent danger of dictatorship seizing control of the country. He had carefully counted every second word in his copy of Friedrich Hayek’s seminal work “The Road to Serfdom” to discover what he believed to be a hidden warning stegnographically concealed in its pages.
Supercalifragirevolutionary Fervor – Calbeck
Social-justice loonies use these terms with gay abandon, They seem to come up with this stuff for reasons rude and random, No matter what you do, you are “a threat to this here Fandom!” They’ll drink up all your “male tears” and laugh, “oh yes, we banned ’em!”
Here’s the story Of a guy named Larry A sore loser with three very crummy slates
To Bridge the Unbridgeable Gap – Will Reichard
To bridge the unbridgeable gap To roast the unroastable roast To wear an unwearable label To post where the crowds dare not post
E Pluribus Hugo – Silly But True
Finally, after the tactics had become so vile, the last people left alive on earth set about enshrining rules for the recommendations that could never be gamed. One of the side effects is that all human contact with one another was stopped.
Who Chose the Slate? – Cat
Whose job was it to curate? If it was honest, why hesitate? Come on, Brad, who chose the slate?
With apologies to Rudyard Kipling – Christopher M. Chupik
“For it’s Puppy this, an’ Puppy that, an’ “Chuck the Nazis out!” But it’s “Why ain’t these Tor books movin’?” when your sales bottom out;
The Tracks of my Drawers – Jim Henley
People say that an alpha cannot be an alpha if he says he is And they get all upset beca-ause we’re not cleaning up after we do our biz
Vote Bloc Hugo – May Tree
I didn’t read her! But if I read her I wouldn’t know which “she” has a schlong!
The Three Laws – Jack Aubrey
1. An SJW may not tell the Truth or, through inaction, allow the Truth to be told.
SJW Paradise – Seth Gordon
I really hate to flounce but I gotta go piss As they cry I see my name all over that Hugo list (fool)
A Helpful Graphic about Unfairness in the Hugos – Simon B. Jones